


Inolvidable

by spacewritermonkey



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:06:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25386529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacewritermonkey/pseuds/spacewritermonkey
Summary: Beatrice has never been one to cling to what ifs. And yet, here she is, unable to move on from one particular “what if.”What if she didn’t freeze that moment when Ava kissed her?
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Comments: 69
Kudos: 598





	1. Unforgettable

She kissed her.

Ava Silva kissed her on a supposedly normal, no-fuss, no-demon-appearance type of day.

Their lives weren’t in danger.

They hadn’t just gotten off of a mission that could have been their last.

Beatrice wasn’t even doing anything mildly impressive like showcase her new moves. Or new weapons.

Nor was Ava doing anything like smirk in that _come hither_ kind she probably didn’t even know she was doing.

They weren’t even doing anything at all really.

Not that those aforementioned scenarios have crossed Beatrice’s mind before as the type of catalysts that could have prompted their first kiss.

Not that she was even thinking of kissing Ava, really.

But a kiss happened anyway.

Of all the time and places, their kiss happens while they were folding newly laundered bed sheets.

And how did Beatrice react?

Nothing.

She said nothing and did nothing.

And what does Ava do best when she feels overwhelmed or cornered?

* * *

The sun is harsh on her back but the wind is cool enough to help Beatrice go through the motions of her drills. Her movements do not falter, do not hesitate. An observer would note how each shift of her weight, every step of her foot, every wave of her arm, and flick of her wrist are swift, precise, and sure.

Beatrice knows all these for a fact. A number of her teachers, instructors, peers, and even fellow sisters have remarked on her abilities using more or less the same words.

Ever since the day her parents shunned her for who she is—was—Beatrice fought to be the nun she is known today.

Confident.

Unfaltering.

Certain.

Yet how could those traits fail her when she needed it most? Inwardly, Beatrice shakes her head trying to maintain focus. But how can she? How could she when the halo bearer is missing?! And try as she might, but Beatrice can not deny that much as she is concerned about the halo bearer, it’s more of the fact that it’s _Ava_ who is nowhere to be found. They’ve tried the usual haunts, even as far as the beach. They have even reached out to Jillian, and—bless her—despite her own pain amidst her loss, the scientist tried to help where she could in sending out resources to find the runaway warrior nun.

Camila even went so far as to track down the group of people Ava used to run with back when she was still trying to enjoy her newfound life and mobility.

JC.

Beatrice feels her breath hitch whenever she remembers.

When they found out where the foursome were staying, Beatrice found herself torn between wanting to find Ava with them and...not.

With them, at least it means she’s safe and _found_. At least it means they know she’s okay.

And yet a part of Beatrice felt pained at the thought that when Ava ran away from her that day, she ran to them. To _him_.

The very possibility gnawed at her insides. And it only added to the guilt she felt within her.

However, confronting them still yielded no Ava.

And JC chasing after them to demand that they bring Ava back only made her angrier. It took a lot out of Beatrice that day not to draw her blade, more so to lose her composure and face him head on.

How DARE he.

The sound of the bō staff slicing through air is almost as impressive as the sound of its impact against the wooden dummy. If someone asked Beatrice then and there if she was imagining the dummy as someone in particular, saying no would have been a lie.

“Oof. That could’ve hurt someone.”

A voice interrupts Beatrice’s movement and she is quick to turn and drop to a defensive stance.

The most unwelcome sight of Father Vincent greets her with his palms midway up in seeming supplication.

Beatrice’s hands tighten around the staff she holds, just as she tries to maintain as tight of a grip around her emotions at the thought that if the traitor is here…Adriel surely couldn’t be far away.

How fortunate that the halo bearer isn’t here, the thought crosses her mind.

And something squeezes her chest at the thought that _perhaps_ it is better that Ava wasn’t here. After all, everyone knows what Adriel is after. And with Ava gone, that means Ava is safe.

Incoming footsteps alert Beatrice to the presence of her fellow nuns making their appearance.

In her periphery, Beatrice notes Mary has both guns trained at Father—no, just Vincent will do. Camila with an AK-17 in her hand and an M-16 strapped around her shouldn’t want to make her smile, but it almost does. Lilith’s response is to grow her nails longer and something in Beatrice calms down in the presence of her fellow sister warriors.

“You _must_ have a death wish showing up here.” Mary opens before anything else could come out of Vincent.

The rest of the sisters note how much it must be taking out of Mary to talk first and shoot later.

The sound of the shotgun going off startles all of them.

_Spoke too soon_ , Beatrice can’t help but think wryly as she listens to the former priest shouting and cursing as he tries to cradle his damaged foot.

“Mary,” is all that Beatrice says.

“You all know he deserves more than just that. I’m being generous here,” Mary grumbles.

“Sonofa—I’m not here to fight you!” Vincent bellows, even as his efforts to staunch the flow of blood with his hands is doing very little improvement. He is seated on the ground, his wounded foot in his hands.

“Well I certainly hope you didn’t come here for absolution, _Father_.”

Okay, the sneer in Camila’s voice deserves some outward expression of amazement, Beatrice thinks.

Lilith emits a snort, “Good one, Camila.”

“The other side really did a number on your sense of humor or something,” Mary can’t help but shoot at Lilith.

At that, Lilith rolls her eyes and tries to swipe at Mary though both know it’s a halfhearted attempt.

“Focus everyone,” Beatrice states and it’s enough to jar them all back to the matter at hand.

* * *

“Why are you here?” Beatrice asks in her calm and no-nonsense manner.

_Confident._

Vincent’s hard eyes turn a bit soft, sad even, if that was even remotely possible with the likes of him.

“I didn’t set out to betray you. Or the order. You _must_ understand that I did what I had to so that all of this could be over and done with.”

“You SHUT UP! YOU! You were the one who killed Shannon!” Mary is shouting and both guns are trained and cocked onto the man on the ground.

“I’m sorry!” Vincent shouts back. “If there was even the slightest chance that you could all believe me, I AM SO SORRY. But I did what I had to do. What _he_ bid me to do.”

At the mention of “he,” everyone stiffens.

_Unfaltering._

“Where is he then?” Beatrice asks.

Vincent’s eyes briefly to the ground before meeting theirs…before meeting Beatrice’s.

The apology in them is unmistakable.

And it shifts something…something so monumental in her chest.

“I just wanted to let you know that there’s no reason to fight anymore.” His voice is low. Certain.

 _Certain_.

Beatrice’s grip on her staff tightens even further.

But then her grasp loosens, just as her breath hitches...

Sister Beatrice’s movements do not falter.

She does not hesitate.

There is a purpose for every shift of her weight, every step of her foot, every wave of her arm, and flick of her wrist: swift, precise, and sure.

“What do you mean?” If the tremor in her voice alarms the other sisters, they do not show it.

But Vincent knows them. _Knew_ them.

“Adriel left yesterday. He showed up, told me he got what he needed and that I was basically on my own now.”

The repercussions of what that meant…

No.

NO.

“YOU ARE LYING!”

If the tremor in her voice didn’t faze the sisters, her raised voice did.

“Beatrice!”

In a movement surely too fast for anyone, except perhaps for Lilith, Vincent was laying flat on the ground, Beatrice hovering over him, with a blade held up against his neck.

A blade that in any other circumstance would make Mary question, _where the fuck was she hiding that?_

“Where did he go?” Beatrice’s voice is cold and held none of the tremor Vincent thought he heard earlier.

“I don’t know! A portal opened and he went through it and I haven’t seen him since!”

Mary looks partly stunned and murderous at the same time.

Lilith has that furrow between her eyes, implying her concern at the implications.

Camila’s confused expression betrays her next question, “Bea, what’s wrong? Isn’t it a good thing if Adriel’s gone?”

Mary shakes her head, approaching the pair on the ground slowly, answering Camila instead.

“Vincent,” she emphasizes without the word “Father” preceding his name, “is telling us that Adriel is gone because he got what he wanted. Unless something’s changed between our time together at the Vatican and now, Adriel _wanted_ the halo.”

And when it all clicks for Camila, it squeezes something deeper inside Beatrice that makes her shove the blade a little bit harder, drawing a droplet of blood from the man.

“Bea!” Camila’s warning falls on deaf ears.

“Look! I came here because I wanted to tell you the good news. This is what everything has been about. Adriel is gone. Evil no longer has an anchor in our world!”

“Even if it meant Shannon dead?! You killed her you traitor! You sick sonofa—” Mary’s tirade is cut off with Vincent’s own vehement response.

“One life against countless others!”

Beatrice looks deep into her former mentor’s eyes. And she can see that he firmly believes that everything he did was for the greater good.

“Even Ava’s?” The voice that croaks out the question startles everyone. Beatrice even more so upon realizing that the voice is hers.

“You tell me.” Vincent’s voice is low and he stares right into her eyes in response.

“Ava ran away a couple of days ago. We haven’t been able to locate her since.” It is Lilith who fills him in.

Everyone is tersely quiet until Beatrice loosens her hold on the fallen priest and sheathes her blade once more into its scabbard.

Slowly, Vincent struggles to stand back up on his one good foot. His pain is seemingly forgotten in his intent to make the nuns in front of him believe him. To absolve him. To vindicate his plan, his ultimate decision, his betrayal.

Without a word, Beatrice turns away, her face unreadable, with her hands at her sides clenched into fists as the only evidence of her tightly held emotions.

“We’ve defeated evil, Sister Beatrice. We all knew the price.”

This time, when their former superior falls onto the ground unconscious, no one is surprised.

“We had a choice. Ava didn’t.” Beatrice walks away, leaving her sisters to deal with the man as they see fit. She just didn’t have it in her to care at that moment.

Briefly, she wonders if she ever will.

* * *

Perhaps unconsciously, Beatrice finds herself in Ava’s room.

In the few weeks that they’ve returned to Cat’s Cradle, Ava somehow made the room hers. Even with her few belongings, Beatrice has come to recognize the markers of the halo bearer’s presence.

The various books piled haphazardly onto the desk, with topics that ranged based on the lessons the halo bearer was required to take.

The papers that bore Ava’s attempts at _writing better_.

A finger slowly traces the shaky curves of penmanship.

Ava had been so proud that one afternoon she got to write Beatrice’s name in cursive along with hers.

 _Ava and Beatrice_.

Something wet drops and causes the loop of a p to bleed ink, smudging the rest of the word slowly but surely.

Beatrice startles as she realizes it’s her tears.

She turns to look around even further and feels like sobbing at the sight of an unfinished burger at the side table by the bed.

  
She recalls how Ava had been declaring just about every “new” fast food she got to eat as her favorite food. Like a child, she also refused to eat her greens. So much so that during one particular dinner, they found Lilith threatening to shove kale down Ava’s throat, Camila was choking, Mary was trying to pull Lilith back, Ava somehow threw up on Beatrice’s boots, and Mother Superion… Beatrice was busy trying to check on Ava and Camila but she could’ve sworn Mother Superion had been trying to sneak away from the dinner table.

Suffice to say, ever since they came back with Ava, mealtimes have never been a quiet affair. But Beatrice knew better and Ava was on the cusp of appreciating the occasional salad. 

Ava still had so much she wanted to experience.

Beatrice knew as much because Ava told her. She told her so much. She spoke of all the things she wanted to do, to see. And Ava shared it all with not just an “I” but a “we.”

Ava wanted to go see a musical with Camila.

Ava wanted to participate in a food eating contest with Mary.

And apparently go see a fortune teller with Lilith.

Beatrice can’t help but chuckle and wipe a tear away at the memory of how everyone was stunned silent at Ava’s announcement of the last one. Lilith’s muttered “never been to one” would have made them laugh except the glare she threw in return kept most of them mum. Except Ava. Ava continued to ramble excitedly about how the stereotypes of fortune tellers and mystics on TV. She also wondered if the OCS ever encountered an “oracle” throughout its lengthy history.

Unfulfilled lives, wasn’t that something Ava mentioned about her dream conversation with Shannon?

The last warrior nun, she also said.

Beatrice sits on the bed, slowly bringing her head down onto her hands, full on sobbing at all that was lost.

What she’s lost.

Beatrice has never been one to cling to _what ifs_. Her pragmatic side, the more dominant one that has served her best throughout her time in Catholic boarding school and even till now, has constantly shunned trying to even explore what could have been.

And yet, here she is, unable to move on from one particular “what if.”

What if she didn’t freeze that moment when Ava kissed her?

Regardless of her response, perhaps any response would not have warranted Ava to run away.

And if she hadn’t run away, she’d still be here.

 _And Adriel would still be out there_ , a voice inside the nun insists.

“And Ava would still be alive!” Beatrice yells into the ether of the room, the sound carrying out the open door, its echoes drifting down the hallway.

And with one careless swipe of her arm, all items on Ava’s side table comes crashing to the floor.

Regret immediately fills Beatrice at the sight. If this is all she has left of the girl she turned away… She can’t lose what’s left of Ava.

If anyone could see me right now, Beatrice mulls as she frantically tries to pick up the things she’s broken. _How fitting_ , she muses further. _Always picking up the pieces I’ve broken, pieces I’ve destroyed_.

The sight of a takeout soda cup and its spilled liquid distracts her briefly.

Ava loved that place, Beatrice thinks fondly, the corners of her mouth slowly lifting upwards in a smile…

…that place which was two hours away.

Finally, the more logical side of Beatrice finally comes back online. _Oh you finally remembered us, did you?_ She could almost hear the mocking voice of said logical side. The irony though, as it sounded a lot like Ava.

Slowly, Beatrice stands back up.

She carefully inspects the space and notes that she hasn’t been here since that day Ava ran and they checked her room. As far as Beatrice knew, no one else had been in here to disturb the space: half expecting Ava to come back some day soon, half dreading that the next time they enter might be to clear out the space.

That burger. She approaches the half eaten food cautiously.

She and the other sisters occasionally enjoy fast food and take out like any normal person. But that diner wasn’t just far enough away to be considered a treat given their schedule, it was also a _cause of death waiting to happen_ according to Camila. And since Ava figured the halo made her invincible, any potential health hazard was worth its taste.

And Beatrice cannot imagine _anyone_ breaking into this room just for the purpose of casual dining.

And that is when a hand appears out of nowhere in front of her.

A hand that appears to have phased through the wall.

A hand that appears to be searching for something.

_Oh, you mean like her toxic burger and giant cup of diabetes?_

If Beatrice had her doubts about the owner of said hand, the head that appeared above it soon dispelled those doubts.

“—can’t believe I forgot—” Ava’s mussed up tresses and her beautiful face appears right in front of her; the warrior nun’s eyes, however, are drawn downwards while Beatrice’s own are stunned in place.

“My burger!”

The pained cry jolts Beatrice out of her stupor that she finds herself shifting her weight from one foot to another. And with said movement, draws Ava’s vision to the boots standing not too far from the remains of her so-called favorite food.

When their eyes finally meet, a sound that seemed like a squeak erupts from the _alleged dead_ halo bearer. Then, Ava disappears once more back into the wall and the room behind it.


	2. Story of Walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava didn't mean to run. Not really. She didn't mean to be gone so long either. So what happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really DID mean to continue this. I forgot to tick the box that signaled to readers this was to have chapters. Except there was a point I considered just leaving this as a one shot because sometimes it's just how a story ends in my head. Add to that, the other stories happened and this got waylaid to the side. Sorry for the delay. Here goes the latest installment and I really hope the third chapter to come will be the last for this ridiculous thing I came up with.

Call her a coward, but Ava’s first reaction was to _retreat_.

Seeing Beatrice on the other side of that wall was unexpected after having gone cold turkey for like… _how many days has it been_?

Three?

Ava sighs, rubs her hands furiously against her face in agitation, and then begins to pace.

 _Cold turkey? Cold turkey means actually cutting off all forms of contact from your addiction, you dumbass,_ Ava’s internal voice scolds. Ava slumps against the nearest wall, sliding down until her ass touches the floor, with her legs sprawled before her.

Her legs. Traitorous bastards.

For years, she dreamed of being able to use her legs to move, be able to do as she pleases: to walk, run, jump, play, dance. And then God, fate, or whomever, finally granted her a chance and here she is, despite her own dreams, playing unto the rules set by the universe and the damn things still won’t give her a break.

Her legs brought her right back to Cat’s Cradle and onto the highest window to unobtrusively observe the object of her affections. So, no. No, she couldn’t go cold turkey.

* * *

_Ava took a chance and she blew it._

_She can’t imagine what Beatrice must think of her now. How can she go back? What can she say? Should she even say anything?_

_She knows she can’t truly run and just leave. The OCS—and being its halo bearer—matter more than her stupid feelings and her stupid hormones and stupid Beatrice’s face—_ no, she’s not stupid and God, that face, _Ava quickly amends her own thoughts._

_As soon as she realized that Beatrice had not responded to her kiss, Ava ran._

_Ran like hell was after her—or like Lilith was._

_She ran and phased through walls, not caring where she was going so long as it was far enough away from the nun who broke her heart. Aye. She really should’ve known better, given her history._

_Sister Frances killed her._

_Mother Superion all but tore her apart inside out with training and that shit about killing herself._

_Of course, there’s Lilith who tried to kill her._

_And now Beatrice…_

_Well, Beatrice surely didn’t mean to hurt her. But that’s probably what hurts the most._

_Getting so close, thinking that there was_ something _…and apparently it was all in her head. How could she have been SO stupid thinking Beatrice would want anything to do with her?_

You mean, aside from the fact she’s a nun, took her vows, and basically means she’s off limits?

_“There goes that snide voice again,” Ava mutters under her breath._

_Beatrice is just really kind to everyone. Always ready and willing to help, holds herself back physically but always ready to jump into the fray for anyone, or even offer a gentle touch to soothe whoever needed comforting. Never mean and always ready with a kind word. Preferring not to speak when she feels she has nothing kind or good to say._

_But of course, stupid, needy, and damaged her just_ had _to mistake it for something else._

_Ava scrunches her eyes shut in frustration and with a deep breath opens them to assess where she’s at._

_Oh good._

_The crypt._

_How fitting._

_Should probably just stab herself and get it over with._

Bad joke, Ava!

_Great, Ava thinks. Now her internal voice sounds like Beatrice._

_Maybe she can spend the night outside or wherever. Wouldn’t be the first time she’d wandered all night since she was resurrected. Once she’s figured out how to deal with the mess she’s made…she’ll come right back. Maybe in the morning._

Except things didn’t go to plan. Which is another thing Ava’s kicking herself for as it should’ve been something she’d seen. Her day had already turned to shit. She should’ve just gone straight into hiding and waited for her bad luck to run out. But did she? No. Stupid her had to go and almost die. Like the idiot that she was.

_She’s been trying to wallow in her mood, walking around town. Ava figures the nuns wouldn’t be looking for her so soon. It would be in Bea’s nature to let her be for awhile, probably let that rejection sink in, gather the pieces of her ego and—perhaps then—try to approach her before or after dinner. It would be just like the nun to ensure that their friendship remained._

_Ava will just have to suck it up._

_And she will. She just needs some time—what the fuck._

Wraiths. Great. Can this day get any worse?

 _Ava pauses and curses inwardly,_ you are such a fuck up—no one asks that question unless they want a surefire way of a shit show getting shittier! _Okay, why does that voice sound like Mary now?_

_Not six feet beyond her, she can see the red haze, the tail end of one it seems as it moves like a thin wisp of smoke slithering between various people._

It’s headed for that building _, Ava notes to herself._

Okay, the wise decision here would be to call for backup, _that pesky internal voice has returned and it suspiciously sounds like Camila._

_Ava pats her pockets and realizes that she doesn’t have her phone on her at all._

You ran, remember? _Ah, there’s Lilith’s voice to round up “The View: Ava’s mental edition.” It’s sardonic, and you can almost hear the sneer dripping off the words. Yep. Perhaps that’s her conscience. Except it’s divided into four personalities. God! What is she going to do?_

_It’s almost gone._

_She has to move fast._

_And so against all four members of her common sense, Ava follows._

_No team, no backup, no weapon._

_She really should’ve just stayed and hidden within Cat’s Cradle that day._

* * *

Seeing as her luck that day had already ran out, Ava recalls having found not just the one wraith she saw, but a group. She’d say “horde” but that would be lie. It wasn’t anywhere near the number they fought at the Vatican, but they were numerous enough that Ava thinks she almost died. She forgot one crucial detail in her rush to do what’s right and help: no divinium to finish them off.

It's a miracle she didn't die that night. _No shade,_ Ava sends up above.

Ava remembers how she rushed into an abandoned building’s basement straight out of a stupid horror thriller and was ambushed by a group of wraiths. Okay, so not a horde. But maybe a family’s worth. Or a family-having-a-family-reunion’s worth.

Long story short it was Ava: 1 and wraiths: a lot.

Now that she thinks about it, what was weirder than usual was that there weren’t as many possessed humans.

Looking back, Ava wonders if there was more than one wraith invading a single host and if that was a common thing.

Well whatever it was she was she felt that night, it was enough to kick start the halo into doing its job.

And kick start it did.

Next thing she knows is when she woke up, bodies of the previous hosts were nowhere to be found. In fact, Ava realized later on that she was nowhere near the place she went to. Instead, she found herself in a different room, in a different building, located in a whole other town.

Later on, Camila will posit a theory that perhaps Ava’s mental and emotional stability played a part, acting as catalyst and Ava the conduit. Given Ava’s emotional and mental state that day, she could have likely “blown a fuse” (a.k.a the halo) when she became overwhelmed further.

If Ava thought waking up at a different area code was surprising, getting home and learning just how long she’d actually been out of it blew her mind.

And freaked her out.

_Jesus, the nuns are going to be so pissed._

As soon as she arrived at Cat’s Cradle that morning, Ava thought about running to her room and hiding. Having been secretly trying to phase throughout the complex whenever she can, Ava knew her way enough to remain undetected.

Except her legs had to bring her to a place where she knew she could observe Beatrice doing her daily drills. Her legs knew her better. She had to see her.

And watch her quietly she did.

She spent enough time just admiring her form and how her favorite nun moved with such grace, her focus. God, she was head over heels and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. Hell, she didn’t even know how to approach the subject of “hey, missed me?” without at least one of them possibly wanting to hang her. Or possibly maim her, in Lilith's case.

Thankfully, her stomach reminded her of her days-old hunger. So, Ava snuck back into her room and—just to be safe until she felt ready—decided to use the hidden room as her safe space.

* * *

Except now she’s been found—by Beatrice no less.

And she’s still hungry too.

Sonofabitch. If she hadn’t gone out to look for her phone with her food still in hand… And then brilliantly leaving said sustenance outside…

Ava squeezes her eyes shut, tilting her head upwards and begins to whisper into the small and mostly dark room, “Please. Please don’t let Beatrice hate me. I didn’t run. She _has_ to know me better than that. Okay, maybe I did run at first, but YOU KNOW I didn’t mean to be gone so long.”

After a few more seconds, Ava decides to finally get up.

 _Maybe like ripping off a band aid_ , she thinks.

She turns to face the wall. _Here we go._ Ava walks straight through…

…and straight into Beatrice, who is apparently leaning against the same stone wall, thus forcing the nun to take a step back to regain her balance.

“Fuck!” Ava exclaims at the same time that Beatrice nearly shouts her name, “Ava!”

And that’s when both realize their proximity. Or at least Ava does.

 _She’s too close_ , Ava notices. Too close that she can see the light freckles on her skin. Too close that she can see Beatrice hasn’t stayed long enough under the sun like she usually does during training. Which could mean something had cut her time short. Otherwise, she knows Beatrice well enough that said nun liked to keep a strict regimen.

Ava wonders what could have distracted Beatrice enough to end her exercise early.

But will wonders ever cease, Ava nearly exclaims when all of a sudden she finds herself wrapped in Beatrice’s arms.

 _She’s hugging me_.

“You’re hugging me,” Ava whispers.

Actually, Beatrice is hugging her really tight.

“Uh, Beatrice? Grip getting a little tight?”

_Or, maybe this is how she intends to punish me? Squeeze the fuck out of the former quadriplegic. Just for shits. Halo’s got my back after all. Oof. My bad. My back has the halo. Hehehe. I crack myself up. Okay, real tight there._

“Beatrice?” Ava calls out, wondering if she should start groveling.

But then she realizes that Beatrice is shaking. And something wet starts seeping onto her neck.

“Beatrice? Are you crying?!” To say Ava’s alarmed would be a subtle way of putting it. She’s only seen Beatrice teary eyed once. And that wasn’t even anywhere close to a sob. God, even the way Beatrice cried was fucking dignified. Ava saw herself cry in the mirror before and she looked like shit.

But this. This is Beatrice full on crying, judging by the growing wetness she can feel on her skin.

Ava struggles but eventually she manages to wrap her arms around the other woman.

“Bea, you’re scaring me. Why are you crying? What happened?”

“You were gone.” It was a breathy and broken fierce whisper, but Ava heard it clearly.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to be gone so long. I didn’t even KNOW I’d missed days! I’m really sorry!”

Beatrice forces herself to disengage from Ava, the Warrior Nun curious about how tightly wound the other woman is.

She pulls back and places her hands firmly around each of Ava’s forearms, part in fear that she’d disappear once more and part in fear that she’s hallucinating and trying to prove to herself that Ava’s real.

She can see Ava trying not to flinch or pull away from her gaze, but Beatrice needs to be sure. She observes Ava’s state: disheveled but skin unblemished by any visible wound or cut. Beatrice shifts her gaze to Ava’s arms pulling them slightly away from her torso, and in the process nudges part of Ava’s jacket to the side. And that’s when she sees it.

Blood.

“What happened to you?”

Ava didn’t think Beatrice’s grip could get any tighter, but hey, she lives to be proven wrong after all.

Die young? Nope, get resurrected.

Run away and live a new life on her own terms? Nope. Instead, join nuns on a sword-wielding adventure fighting demons.

Oh, and her favorite. Fall in love with a guy? Noooo. Fall in love with a nun. So much better.

“Uh…do you want the long version or the short one?” Ava hedges.

“Ava.” _Wow, okay. Sharp tone._

“I got into a fight with demons. Maybe blew out the halo. I think I passed out. Next thing I know is I woke up today in a different town and days have actually passed. Oooh! And I found that diner with that awesome burger! Can you believe it?? Two birds.” Ava delivers quickly with a grin, until she realizes Beatrice unresponsive.

 _Huh. Who knew Beatrice could switch colors so fast between white and red,_ was Ava’s last thought.

* * *

And that is how Mary, Camila, and Lilith found Beatrice all alone in Ava’s room, angrily shouting at a wall.


	3. Breaking Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some think Beatrice has cracked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look! This thing is still alive.

_Beatrice has cracked_ , was Mary’s first thought.

She often figured Beatrice as the least or last of them all to have a breakdown for two reasons: her discipline and her pride. Mary would have placed her money on the young nun preferring to chew her own arm off than let her guard down. Plus, she definitely wouldn’t have figured her going _loco_ because of a girl.

She scoffs internally. Or maybe not. Girl may have tried to tell herself otherwise, but Mary knew the direction Beatrice had been swinging towards ever since she saw the younger woman blush when Shannon came out of the locker room all sweaty and ripped. Mary could have been slightly jealous and amused, but she’s been witness to Beatrice’s inner torment all these years. Truth is, it only served to make Mary hurt for the younger woman.

The knowledge of what she had before, and what she lost when Shannon died would always hurt, but at least Mary had something to remember the former Warrior Nun by. But Beatrice? If Ava is truly gone…

Mary was far from oblivious and she’d seen that their Halo Bearer and by-the-book Beatrice had connected on some level. Perhaps that was what surprised the secular member of the OCS the most. Beatrice lived by control, order, and discipline. Even Lilith, who strove so hard to be the perfect candidate for the halo, slipped every now and then: rolling her eyes in exasperation at recruits, muttering under her breath when frustrated, rolling her eyes _and_ muttering under her breath when she disagreed behind Mother Superion’s back when she disagreed with the older woman.

Beatrice, on the other hand, was near impenetrable. Oh, she was far from cold. But her self-control and self-discipline were damn-near legendary. Particularly among the OCS and the new recruits. Bless that closeted soul, Beatrice had always been so guarded. Being teamed up with the halo bearer may have brought them closer, but even through their time together with Shannon, there was a part that the nun kept hidden. In the rare moments Mary would catch sight of Beatrice on her own somewhere on OCS grounds, the nun would have the saddest look on her face. There were times it truly hurt to see Beatrice alone.

Then came this halo bearer in the form of Ava. Mary doesn’t know what drew them both closer together, but it was enough for her to see the difference in Beatrice. A few times Mary would see her trying to hide a smile. She’d seen Beatrice in varying degrees of emotions: her most stoic, sad and quiet, hurt, in pain, upset, and happy. But to see the nun quietly reading and humming? No. That was new.

When Mary accidentally came across Beatrice in the kitchen with a small and soft smile on her face, the older woman observed how Beatrice seemed to realize that she was smiling and tried to tamp it down.

Not even a full minute later, there she went again. Humming too.

Mary wasn’t the type to jump to conclusions of course. And sure, she can attribute Beatrice’s change in behavior to other things: she’d once seen her get excited over a collection of **books** (and daggers but she kept denying it ever happened). Except this was more than just being happy or excited.

She can see that there was a... _stillness_ to Beatrice as of late. A sense of deep-seated peace Mary hadn’t seen in the nun before. It was mostly evident when Ava was around, even when the Warrior Nun herself tested Beatrice’s patience; Mary could see it. Feel it.

Because it’s exactly what Mary used to have. Until she lost it. Until she lost her.

Seeing Beatrice raging against the wall of Ava’s room, Mary can understand. She knows what it’s like to lose that which used to anchor you. That person who helped keep you together, make you stronger.

Mary calmly tries to approach Beatrice, grabbing her by the shoulders and trying to pull her away from beating her reddened fists against the harsh and unforgiving wall.

“Beatrice, please! Enough.”

Beatrice whirls around to face them and the wild look in her eyes almost troubles them except her words worry them even further. “No! Don’t you see! She doesn’t come home for days and then what, instead of rushing home to assure us of her safety, she takes the time to buy her godforsaken burger??!”

If this is what Beatrice is like unhinged, they certainly appreciate her level-headedness now more than ever.

“Beatrice,” Mary attempts to placate her again, holding her hands up in an effort to place them in a comforting manner around Beatrice, but instead the nun turns to face the wall once more and raises her voice, “Come on out here, Ava! You get out of that room right now!”

Lilith seems to be the one who loses her patience first and darts forward to grab Beatrice by her shoulders, pulling her back and placing herself between Beatrice and the wall. “Enough, Beatrice!” Lilith shouts.

“I’m just trying to get Ava to come out and face the consequences of her actions.” Beatrice attempts to move forward, but Mary and Camila move to flank Lilith, placing themselves effectively as a barrier against Beatrice.

“Bea? Please. I know you’re upset. And so are we. But this isn’t…this can’t be healthy.” Camila’s voice finally breaks, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

Beatrice frowns and approaches Camila. “Don’t. Please don’t cry.”

“If it helps her, I say let her cry.” Mary counters firmly, her gaze unflinching.

Beatrice pauses and allows her gaze to drift over all three of her sisters. Mary understands it is her calculating look: assessing and observing.

“You three think I’ve gone mad.” Her words are a statement.

“Not entirely. But your bit of histrionic is certainly lending credibility towards it.” Lilith responds, her gaze also assessing, taking stock of the state of the woman before her. A woman whom she’d always respected and secretly envied in her ability to compartmentalize. At least, until now.

“Well I haven’t. If you would just—”

“If we would what, let you rage against a fucking wall? If Ava is indeed in there, what _can_ you do, Beatrice? Start trying to drill a hole? What?”

Mary’s statement was obviously meant as rhetoric but the bit of widening of Beatrice’s eyes raised flags. “We are NOT drilling a goddamn hole in that wall, Bea!”

“Well what if it helps her move on?” Camila’s not-quite whisper only caused Mary to roll her eyes and Lilith to emit a “Hmm…” as if she herself was pondering the merits of possibly even helping Beatrice.

“No ONE is drilling a fucking wall. Besides, how do you want to explain that to Mother Superion? She doesn’t even know about Ava being d—”

“Ava is NOT dead, Mary.”

The tone of finality in Beatrice’s voice is possibly what silences the other three.

Even if it hadn’t, the meek “Hey” from behind them certainly did.

* * *

And that is how Mother Superion first became aware that Ava had returned.

First, a series of gunshots from the courtyard where she spied Mary running after and shooting after their Warrior Nun. Sister Beatrice caught up with Mary just as soon as Ava let out a yelp and went down.

“Ava!”

The sound of what seemed to be Lilith’s voice rang clear through the open air, “Did you get her?”

“Yeah, I did.” Mary shouted back.

“That’s not very nice.” Camila suddenly appeared beside Mary as the older woman holstered her gun.

In no time at all, Beatrice was beside the Halo Bearer, trying to ascertain Ava for injuries before whirling around to glare at Mary who had caught up to them at last.

“WHY did you have to shoot her?!” Mary paused mid-step, realizing that if it was entirely possible, Beatrice looked just a tad bit angrier than when she socked Vincent earlier.

_Jeezus. Was all that just this morning??_

“We just got her back and you go off on shooting her?? What is wrong with you?!” Beatrice turns back towards Ava who winced before meeting her gaze and offering a sheepish grin. “I’m fine.”

From the shade of a wide stone column, Mother Superion noted how Beatrice’s face seemed to crumple into something akin to despair before hauling the younger woman into her arms.

Ava had some serious explaining to do.

But for the sake of Beatrice…

The OCS chapter head turned around and motioned to one of the nearby nuns who had come running after hearing the gunshots. “When Ava’s recovered from Mary’s ire, please tell her I wish to see her in my office.” She spared one more glance behind her and saw Mary helping Ava up while Beatrice maintained an arm around the younger woman. “All of them. I want to see the Bearer and her team in my office.”

* * *

“I’m fine” Ava says possibly for the umpteenth time.

“Let me see.” Beatrice prods Ava’s arm anyway.

Carefully lifting the torn sleeve away from Ava’s skin, Beatrice sighs in relief at the unblemished skin of the Halo Bearer.

“Told you I was fine.”

“Yes, well. Forgive me if I wanted to see and ensure for myself.” Beatrice snaps, a look of regret flitting over her face almost as soon as the words came out of her mouth.

“I’m sorry.” Beatrice mutters.

“Don’t. I uh…I know I’m the one who’s supposed to be apologizing.” Ava looks down at her feet, her hands fidgeting with the blanket beneath her. They had gone back to her room after Mary called her a few more choice words and apologizing for shooting her, all in one breath.

Being summoned to Mother Superion’s office reminded Ava she needed to at least change her clothes. If she was surprised to find that Beatrice followed her, she didn’t let it show.

“I apologize for getting upset when…when I first saw you earlier.”

Ava shrugs. “I was hungry. But I suppose I could have delivered the news better about making a pit stop for food instead of letting you know the second I was back.”

“Why didn’t you?” Beatrice’s eyes probed Ava’s, the latter unable to hold it and redirecting her gaze back onto the floor.

“You know why.”

 _Right to the heart of the matter,_ Beatrice thinks.

“I’m sorry I kissed you!” Ava suddenly blurts.

Beatrice can’t help but wonder if perhaps she’d be better off if this was all a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I set myself up for stories and ideas that are meant to run long? Why can't I stick to one-shots like a proper miscreant of a writer? If I was ever one.


	4. Back Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The point of this whole thing was supposedly just crack. Yet, here we are. This wasn't meant to delve too deeply into mytharc so I'm going to cut this short until I find the energy to dive back into it and explore the possibilities that ran through my mind while writing parts of this. Hope those who stuck around long enough to see this through don't mind.

It had been a tension-filled meeting, to say the least.

Mother Superion stared at her with an intensity that made Ava think that perhaps she should have hidden longer.

Mary glared at her for most of the meeting, especially when Ava recounted the part where she followed the wraiths. Alone. The word _dumbass_ rang quite audibly throughout the room a few times, even if it was supposedly muttered.

Lilith looked at her curiously when she mentioned the possibility of multiple wraiths in one host based on her observation. But then turned to something else resembling fascination when Ava mentioned waking up far away from home. What, did she think Ava teleported there or something? _Right_ , Ava scoffed at herself internally. Although she figured that would be a cool power to add to her list.

At least Camila looked at her with a mix of awe and sympathy throughout. Camila fussed over Ava in all the right places, even if Lilith rolled her eyes in the process.

Beatrice…

Beatrice wouldn’t even look at her.

Ava noticed certain instances in her storytelling where the nun’s shoulders stiffened, or her brows furrowed despite her obvious intention to act and look as passive and as expressionless as possible.

When she finally got to the part of when she woke up and found out where she was, curiosity was the common theme on all of their faces—particularly, Lilith’s.

“And you have no memory whatsoever of where you’d been during all those days you were gone?” Lilith asks for the third time. Ava barely held back her eyeroll in check before gritting her teeth and then simply answering succinctly. “No.”

Mother Superion shot her a suspicious look and then turned towards Camila and Beatrice. “Perhaps we can look into any accounts where Warrior Nuns may have experienced memory loss or loss of time.”

Camila spared Ava a glance before she remarked that short-term memory loss had been mentioned a few times in numerous accounts, mostly in relation to blunt force trauma and consequently concussions. Mary snorted and hinted that Ava’s hard head might be the exception.

“I’m right here.” Ava waved her hand in front of Mary who crossed her arms tighter and retorted, “You’re lucky you’re here. What the hell were you thinking running after wraiths on your own?!”

“Language, Mary. And that’s enough.” Mother Superion didn’t even have to raise her voice to do the trick. Everyone eased back. Except for Beatrice who already looked preoccupied and lost inside her own thoughts.

“Sister Beatrice, Sister Camila,” Ava noted how Beatrice returned to the present in time to nod at their superior. “Please let me know as soon as you find anything. Mary, Sister Lilith,” the woman barely motioned with her cane at the other two before slightly nodding her head in Ava’s direction, “Tomorrow, I would like for you both to accompany Ava and revisit where our Halo Bearer woke up and founder herself at.”

From Ava’s periphery, she noted how Beatrice’s head snapped away from her murmured conversation with Camila to look towards them. Turning her own gaze at said nun, Ava thought she saw a brief glimpse of panic before a blank expression shut it all down and Beatrice turned away.

“No problem, Mother Superion. We’ll make sure to keep an eye on this one and figure out what happened.” An arm suddenly thrown around her neck and a knuckle goosing her scalp made Ava wince and realize it was Lilith of all people who was all up in her personal space.

As soon as they were outside of their superior’s office, Ava made harder work of wrenching herself away from Lilith. “What the fuck, dude?!”

“Language.” Camila murmured.

“You really don’t think you could have teleported?” Lilith asked as she followed Ava who had begun to walk away.

“What part of ‘I don’t remember anything’ don’t you understand, Lilith?”

“Hey! We’re just trying to figure out what happened to you. And who knows if maybe that’s why Vincent came sniffing around here.” Mary interjected.

Ava immediately stopped in her tracks and turned back to face the others. “Vincent was here?”

“Is. He still is.” Lilith supplied.

“What the ever-living fuck for—wait. He’s still alive?” Ava eyed Mary suspiciously, who rolled her eyes and motioned at Beatrice who remained silent as far as Ava was concerned.

“Talk to your girlfriend here who almost beat me to it.”

Mary didn’t even really mean anything by it. It was a casual slip and something the older woman knew better than to tease them about. But there it was and suddenly, Beatrice was walking away towards one direction and Ava running towards the opposite and phasing through a wall when she reached a wall.

Camila and Lilith threw Mary a look.

“What?! What did I say??”

* * *

They’ve been at it for hours.

Camila is running a search through their digital archive while simultaneously reading through the older records yet to be digitalized with Beatrice. Sparing the other woman a glance, Camila observed that unlike her usual focused self, Beatrice had yet to read past the same page for nearly an hour. She would wonder why, but she’s pretty sure whatever has the other woman distracted is due to another female.

Though supposedly the rookie of the team thus far, Camila has had the opportunity to observe and get to know all of her sister warriors better than ever since that day she fired multiple shots through the ceiling of the Lord’s house. Something was different with Sister Beatrice. There was something already amiss since Ava first disappeared—but that was expected. Especially given how her mentor and the Warrior Nun seemed to grow closer as time passed.

But with Ava’s return, something else had shifted. Most telling was how Beatrice was definitely avoiding the Halo Bearer. She couldn’t even look at the younger woman!

Before all of these, Ava and Beatrice seemed to be eerily attuned to the other’s presence. Ava only had to enter the room and Beatrice’s eyes immediately locked onto hers and they’d exchange smiles and pleasantries. Camila saw how her fellow nun _tried_ to keep her reactions tempered down. But Camila knew.

If she was a betting woman, she’d bet that _everyone_ knew.

“Bea?” Camila shuts her tome close.

The other woman emits a soft noncommittal grunt.

“Bea.” Camila’s voice has risen a little, which is just enough to thankfully rouse the other without garnering glares from the few other sisters who are spending their time in the library as well.

“What is it?” Beatrice’s eyes at least seem to have lost its haze and is now focused on her.

“What’s up with you and Ava?”

Camila feels that the direct approach might be better for this situation.

Beatrice noticeably stiffens before shifting her attention to the large book in front of her, reading but not really absorbing anything at that moment.

“You were just as inconsolable as we were when we thought Ava was gone…” Camila trails off, her voice a mere whisper. She can see the effect of her words in the grip of Beatrice’s fingers that have begun to crumple fragile paper. Camila quickly but gently places a hand on top of Beatrice as a silent reminder.

Beatrice takes notice and pulls her hand away from Camila, choosing to place both of her hands on her lap instead as she struggles between confiding in someone and staying silent and keeping her pain to herself as she had been raised to do—as she had been doing for most of her life.

“When compared to you and our other sisters, I barely know Ava. But I know her enough and have spent enough time with her that when I thought she was gone…” Camila’s eyes brim with tears at the memory of what Vincent’s news meant. “…it hurt, Bea. It broke my heart.” Camila whispers the last four words in a whisper so soft Beatrice barely makes out the words.

But she does.

And something unclenches within her enough to let the next words out, barely audible under her breath.

“She kissed me.”

In the silence that stretches after this admission, Beatrice feels every bit of her fears rising up within her, threatening to suffocate her like it did years before—like it does whenever she even contemplates brushing a stray strand of hair away from Ava’s face, or maybe taking her hand in hers.

Suddenly, she is being dragged out of her chair and out of the library, barely noticing Camila shoot the nun in charge of the library that day a stern look not normally seen on the young sister warrior, “No one touches that table until we get back.”

Camila’s words, tone, and the look in her eyes must have been threatening enough as Beatrice observes the other nun’s frantic nod in reply.

Before she can even shrug off Camila’s grip on her forearm and try to rebuild what she can of her defenses lest her supposed friend’s words tear her down, they are ensconced in a part of the garden hidden from anyone passing by. And as far as the rumors she’s heard, far enough away from any potential eavesdroppers.

Camila lets her go and turns toward her, and the excitement Beatrice sees in her eyes takes her aback.

“When did she kiss you? Where? I mean where did she kiss—like was it here? I didn’t mean to imply—duh—of course on the lips—wait, it _was_ on the lips, right? I mean not that—”

The rising flush on both women’s cheeks are enough for Beatrice to raise a hand signifying her plea for Camila to essentially just quit talking.

“Sorry.” Camila squeaks, though her embarrassment still held a tinge of excitement obviously for her friend.

“It was just a kiss. On the lips—Ava kissed me suddenly while we were folding laundry.”

The barely held in squeal produced a high-pitched note that made Beatrice wince.

“Camila, please.”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I’m going to be quiet now, I promise. It’s just…ugh. That’s so cute!”

The red color on Beatrice only seems to deepen at Camila’s words.

“Wait, so what did you do then?” Camila leans forward as she lowers her voice even further. “Did you kiss her back?”

Beatrice stiffens. “No,” she mumbles.

At this, Camila frowns in confusion. “Oh.”

Beatrice scuffs the toe of her boot against the ground, hands behind her back, unable to look the other woman in the eye for reasons she’s unsure of.

“That was the day Ava ran.” Beatrice sighs, remembering every detail of that moment she had been agonizing over since she found out Ava was missing.

“I froze. I said nothing. And I could see that Ava was waiting for me to at least say something. But I couldn’t. I didn’t know what to say.”

Beatrice looks back up at Camila with pain in her eyes that it nearly steals Camila’s own breath away.

“Ava’s sorry she kissed me.”

Camila’s frown deepens.

“She said that?”

Beatrice nods, shoulders dropping in a posture so uncharacteristic of her Camila wants to hunt down Ava and throw them both in a deep hole and leave them in there long enough to hug things out.

“What did she say exactly?”

Beatrice shrugs. “She said ‘I’m sorry I kissed you’.”

“Did you ask her to explain further or something?” Camila prods.

“What else is there to explain? She regrets it, Camila. We had that meeting with Mother Superion so I told her we had to go and then met up with you and the others.”

Camila facepalmed herself so hard, the sound of the slap made the taller woman wince.

“Beatrice, talk to Ava.”

“I think we’ve said enough.”

“Really? Because when Ava was missing it seemed like you might have a lot to say.”

Beatrice stiffens, her posture turning defensive. “She’s back. She’s fine.”

“She’s leaving tomorrow.”

If it was entirely possible, Beatrice’s back straightens even further, eyes growing hard. “She’s leaving with Lilith and Mary and they are coming back.”

“I saw you back there when Mother Superion gave that order. You fear letting her out of your sight. Even now. You’ve been restless ever since we settled in the library. By now you would have given my computer a run for its money with how much material you’d have gone through, but you’ve barely even thumbed through one volume.”

Camila reached out and placed a hand on the other’s shoulder. “I’m not trying to scare you. But do you really want to let Ava leave tomorrow without at least clearing the air between you two? Even if you have nothing else to say, what if Ava does?”

Beatrice remained silent for a time before giving in to a barely perceptible nod.

* * *

The knock on the door interrupts Ava’s attempt at cleaning her sword and a divinium dagger. After what happened, she figures she should always perhaps at least keep one on her person. God, that sounds like an accident waiting to happen but maybe stabbing herself accidentally would be better than being caught in the middle of a horde again.

“Lilith, if you ask me one more—” Ava’s tirade ends before it truly begins when she realizes who is at her door.

“Hi.” Beatrice tilts her head slightly to the side as she asks, “May I come in?”

As if snapping out of a trance, Ava nearly jumps and hops off to the side of the entryway, motioning for the other woman to enter.

“I hope I didn’t come at a bad time.” Beatrice looks at the items scattered on Ava’s bed.

“No! Nope. Not a bad time.” Ava grabs the sword and dagger and tucking both in one arm, uses her other arm to sweep a part of her bed clean as she gestures for Beatrice to take a seat.

Beatrice, despite her trepidation in coming here and instigating a conversation that she shouldn’t even be entertaining as she is in fact still very much a nun, chuckles at Ava’s antics. Somehow, Ava seems to have forgotten she has a chair off by the desk which she could have offered instead.

A quick glance, however, showed Beatrice that there was a bowl of something occupying her chair and a few items of clothing on top of said desk.

Bed it is.

“Um…so…what’s up?” Ava asks after carefully depositing her sword back into its scabbard and the dagger into a small backpack, Beatrice is proud to observe.

Feeling that perhaps treating it like one would with ripping off a bandage, Beatrice takes a quick deep breath and opens with, “Do you regret kissing me?”

Ava drops the sword she was supposed to hang off the side of her bedpost.

“What?”

Despite her worry for the relic laying on the floor between them, Beatrice persists. “You apologized earlier. You said you were sorry for kissing me. Does that mean you regret it?”

Ava momentarily appears lost for words, but the obvious regret that _does_ flash across her face is what steals Beatrice’s breath away.

The nun is quick to stand up and nearly stumbles in her haste to move away, “I see. I’m sorry I bothered you—”

“Wait!”

The hand clasping hers gives Beatrice pause.

It’s enough of an opening for Ava who pulls at the other woman to face her as she tries her best to explain.

“I’m sorry I kissed you without permission. Without your consent. I do regret kissing you—but only because I… I should have respected you and your vows as a nun. You deserve that much. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t express my…” Ava turns red before stammering further, “…my uh…feelings for you…in a more respectful way or something. I’m just… That’s what I’m sorry for.”

Beatrice stares blankly at the Warrior Nun.

“Feelings?”

At this, Ava’s blush grows but she bravely nods. In for a penny, in for a pound and inflation.

“I know I shouldn’t have. I mean you’re YOU and I’m just…well, me—”

“Ava.”

“You’re this amazing woman who can probably disarm bombs with a paperclip and a chewing gum—"

“Ava…”

“And God, you’re so pretty. Do you know that? Do you have any idea? I mean, okay. Not to toot my own horn. I know I’m not butt ugly like a tarask to look at—but YOU! I can stare at you for hours…” Ava’s smile turns soft and dare she say, smitten.

“Ava, I—”

“But I know you’re a nun. And I’m not just putting myself on God’s shit list by trying to move in on his woman but what I did and what I feel…I don’t want to put you in a position that compromises you and your beliefs—mmph!”

A hand over her mouth finally shuts Ava right up.

Beatrice steps forward, “May I speak now?”

Ava’s slowly nods.

“Your… _feelings_ …aren’t unrequited.” Beatrice exhales softly as she sees Ava’s eyes widen at this proclamation, and then crinkle at the corners as she feels a smile growing beneath her palm.

Beatrice pulls her hand away, but with her heart thudding loudly in her chest she can barely hear herself speak, she reaches out and is pleased to note how Ava’s own and meets her halfway.

As their fingers intertwine, “I appreciate your apology, and I accept it—even if I was more surprised really.”

“Really?” Ava’s voice is unsure.

“I think if you had stuck around longer…I might have been tempted to return the favor.” Beatrice shyly admits the truth she had been struggling with these past few days.

Ava’s smile grows wider, but then falters.

Beatrice understands without Ava having to say it.

“It’s okay. I never thought I could feel this way. At least not again. I never thought I would feel this strongly about anyone to even contemplate the idea of leaving this life I thought was meant for me.”

The look of concern on the Halo Bearer’s face prods Beatrice to reach out with her other hand and brush a stray hair away from Ava’s forehead, simultaneously brushing a thumb to soothe the furrow between her brows.

“Not everything is about you, Ava.” The grin on the nun’s face assures Ava she was merely teasing. “Don’t worry. I’m doing this just as much for myself. You just happened to give me the nudge I need to own up to a truth I should have realized and accepted long before.”

Ava grins and shakes her head, “That’s okay. I’d hate to think what if our paths never crossed because you never became a nun.”

“To dwell on what ifs never served one well.”

“You’re soooo smart!” Ava gushes and pinches Beatrice’s cheek with the other.

“Avaaaaa.” The low whine is just as adorable in Ava’s opinion.

Unsure of where to throw this bubbling energy she’s found within, Ava decides to throw her arms around the nun and squeeze her tight.

Fortunately, Beatrice is made of sterner stuff and hugs the younger woman back just as tight.

“I’ll wait for you, Bea.” Ava mumbles into the taller woman’s neck. “You can take as much time as you need. This is huge. I’ll wait. I can wait, I promise.”

“And I’ll wait for you to come back home safely. Tomorrow.” Beatrice pulls away, and Ava is reminded of her upcoming trip.

“I’ll be fine.” Ava assures her, which only serves to bring a frown onto the nun’s face. “I wish I was coming with you.”

“You and Camila are like human computers when it comes to research. All we’ll be doing is scope out the place I ended up at. Might end up a bust. And in the end we’d have only spent half the day trying not to kill each other in the van.”

Beatrice chuckles at this. “Please do your best to listen to Lilith and Mary, okay?”

Though Ava rolls her eyes at the question, she acquiesces and nods.

“Promise me you’ll come back home safe tomorrow. And that you’ll call or something if you guys might be late because you decide to drop by that so-called restaurant.”

“Jeez. I promise. Besides, I can only be so lucky if Mary lets me have a stopover. I think she’s still gunning for me.”

Beatrice sighs, her hands unconsciously finding purchase at the small of Ava’s back while the Halo Bearer’s arms seem to have found their place loosely draped around the taller woman’s shoulders.

“We were all worried, Ava.”

“I know, I know.” Ava’s fingers caress the other woman’s nape.

“Okay. So, just be careful tomorrow. We’ve yet to interrogate Vincent fully and we can’t trust a single word he says. At least not without some very thorough verification.”

“I already promised!”

“I’m just saying. We’re more or less already making plans together…” Beatrice trails off with a degree of uncertainty in her eyes. Something Ava completely understands.

“I thought you said not everything was about me.” Ava tries to lighten the moment with a joke.

“Not everything is about you, Ava. But maybe I like making parts of my life all about you.” Beatrice shrugs with a grin, gently nudging Ava’s chin with a finger. “So, stay safe okay?”

How else is Ava supposed to respond to all of that?

“Okay.”

* * *

"If Mary agrees though, I'm going to drop by real quick for a burger, okay?"

"Ava. It's me or that _E. coli_ pretending to be a burger."

"What?! That's...no! Don't walk away! Of course it's always going to be you!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand that's all she wrote for this one. Thank you.

**Author's Note:**

> First attempt for this fandom. I usually don't write anything until I've really delved into a bit of character study on all of the characters involved (and watched the shows like a hundred times), yet here we are. I really hope we see more of these two in a second season. The potential and all the possibilities for this show, and ALL of its characters are just too much for one fan to write about, fathom, or explore. We need more: more fans, more material to work with, more fanfic (I keep refreshing this place, dammit!) And we need more canon to fight, flail, and freak out over as a fandom.


End file.
